PART 1 OF 2
We all have things that stand in the way of our goals. Sometimes these obstacles are situations or lack of knowledge. Sometimes they are inner doubts and fears. Learn how to recognize these inner blocks and outer obstacles and overcome them so that you can live the life you want.
TRANSCRIPT: This segment is going to be about overcoming blocks. Blocks those are things that are getting in your way, getting in the way of what you want out of life. They are preventing you from moving forward. So we’re going to talk about how to overcome these blocks and move past the physical and emotional challenges that are getting in your way. They might be things that you realize are stopping you, or things that you don’t realize are stopping you. They may be in your subconscious.
First of all we have to name the problem — what is the situation you are trying to change? I will use myself as an example — making this particular video about blocks was a challenge. I’ve been putting it off, and I want to change that situation; I want to get it done. What is or was preventing me from doing that? Well, I’m kind of a perfectionist. I wanted everything to look just right; to be just right. wanted to do a video, but that would mean I’d have to do my hair and makeup and adjust the lighting in this room. And then I would have to figure out how to read the prompter while I’m looking at the screen and the camera and it was just easier to put it off. So that was a block that I was conscious of; I knew that those things were holding me back. That is a thing that you might say is outside of me; those are external problems that I had to fix before I could do this video.
However, the internal problem, the thing that internally was blocking me from doing this, was that I felt…not confident enough to do this. So I was inventing reasons to put it off. All right, so what parts are within your control? What parts were within my control? Well, I could go and do my hair and makeup. I could adjust the lighting in here. I could fix the camera, I could have notes, I could even not have the camera on, which is what I think I’ve finally chosen to do, is just not even have the video on. That makes it easy. So it’s just going to be voice.
What am I afraid of? Well, I am afraid of looking stupid. I am afraid of not doing a good job. I am afraid it won’t be perfect. I am afraid that my hair will be messy, as it always is. That…I don’t know…I might have something stuck in my teeth. I might miss up and say something silly. So what underlying core belief might be getting in the way? Well, I’ve kind of cheated because I already know what my underlying core belief is; the underlying core belief about all those things– well, let me just go through it with you.
If I were to miss up on the video, what might that mean about me? That might mean that no one’s going to watch it, and that might mean that I’m going to fail at this venture. That might mean that I’m just not good enough to succeed at something and that might mean that I am just not good enough as a person. So that’s getting down to the core belief. That’s actually going to be covered in another segment, but it’s good to know as far as overcoming your blocks what’s really underlying them.
So what automatic negative thoughts are sabotaging your efforts? In my case, my automatic negative thought was, ‘Oh, it’s got to be perfect, and I can’t do it perfectly. I won’t be able to do it well enough, I will look silly, I’m not photogenic. I worried that I might mess up while I was talking. All those are negative thoughts.
So how can you relax and exercise self-care during this process? Well, I can take deep breaths, I can do breathing exercises, I can plan ahead, I can get enough sleep, I can tell myself positive affirmations and other things.
What values and priorities do I have that are affecting this decision? Well, I guess I must have a value of wanting to be perfect, which sounds really bad…or maybe that’s a good thing, but it can be a bad thing. So I have a value of doing a good job which can be a good thing unless I take it too far. Priorities — same thing; I want it to be good, I want it to be entertaining. These things are all good, but if it gets in the way of me actually accomplishing anything, then that’s definitely a block.
Learning from the past — when have you been able to handle this type of situation effectively? For example, I have created videos before for my speech website. So what did I do differently than I’m doing now? I probably spent more time getting ready with my appearance, the lighting, the setup, even the text that I was going to speak. Remember what you thought about back then; remember how you felt and remember what actions you took. Okay, let’s see… I did feel a little bit more confident back then because I did do more things to get ready. I guess I made a conscious decision to not do video this time, so it is what it is. Can I imagine myself doing those things in the future? Yeah. Yeah, I could. Maybe I will scrap this whole project here and do another one with perfect video. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll just accept this as it is.
And that is the end of this segment. I hope this helps you learn more about how to recognize and overcome your blocks.
For more information you can contact me at my website claritycoachingservices.com.